Naminé (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
charmedbymemories) wrote2013-02-24 03:24 pm
charmedbymemories) wrote2013-02-24 03:24 pm
Entry tags:
ic inbox and voicemail
"Hello, this is Naminé, you've reached my voicemail. I'm sorry to have missed you, but I'll get back to you as soon as I can if you leave your name and number for me. Until then!"
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She makes a point to stare right into his face, willing him to understand where she's coming from.]
First of all, it's my time, so I can decide how to use it. And I want to use it to help you.
Second of all, it's not fixing you. I'm not making you my project, I'm not trying to mold you into an 'ideal' Joshua that has resolved all his problems. Our problems never leave us. But we can come to terms with them, make it so they don't hurt us as much. If you need me to help you with that too, then I can try. But what I'm...offering, I guess, is just me. I'm here for you, if you want me to be here for you. If you don't, I'm here anyways. I accept you as you are, no matter what you do, no matter what.
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... There must be some sort of irony to this. The more I try to change, to move past my problems, the harder it gets. It was so much easier to disregard my heart when I didn't have a conscience, or a desire to have friends. I never had to deal with losing them back then. [Joshua presses his hand to his forehead with a short sigh and an accompanying bitter laugh.] Moving forward feels worse than standing still, almost worse than moving backwards... It's harder, it's more painful. In the past I'd tried giving up... At this point, though, I honestly don't think I have that option anymore.
[Giving up now would mean succumbing to depression. It would mean turning his back on the world and leaving it behind. Again. He was doing everything he could to make sure that didn't happen.]
... If you want to help me, I can't tell you not to try, I can only warn you that it will be a monumental task, and I've hurt the others who have tried horribly. That I personally don't think it's worth your time... And at this point, I have no idea where you would start.
I'm really hanging on by my fingernails right now, if the fact that we're even having this conversation is anything to go by.
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Then I'll have to figure out how to pull you up out of danger.
[She pauses for a moment, glancing back at Kairi. She's certain her sister wouldn't mind if she asked, so...here goes.]
Would you like to stay with us?
[So he doesn't have to be alone. So she can watch over him, keep him occupied, just get to know him better.]
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Though it certainly isn't the first time that someone had asked him to stay with them in order to help him. The last time, though, it'd taken him several months to say yes to the request. He wasn't really sure he was going to last several months more for his pride's sake this time around...
He notices the glance towards Kairi, and he can't really tell what they're thinking about, but knowing Kairi he doubted that her shaking her head was a refusal to the arrangement. Just in case, though, and to be on the cautious side...]
Are you sure everyone would be okay with that...? I don't know if I'd be entirely welcome. On top of which I have Shibuya, my cat, to look after.
[Well despite his words, that was a lot closer to a 'yes' than Joshua was used to when first responding these kinds of offers.]
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[She pauses, and turns away, her hair sweeping over her eyes. She had hoped that he wasn't going to ask that question, wanting the discussion to wait until later, when he was settled. When she is ready to talk about it.
Out of respect to Joshua's confession, she won't-- doesn't want to-- make him worry about her. He has enough to worry about. But they are very much in the same boat. It's just that Naminé has Kairi's help to keep her afloat.]
We already have a lot of cat supplies because of Mittens, so that won't be a problem either.
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Alright... it'll take me some time to get ready, but... I suppose I wouldn't mind it. Don't hesitate to mention if I'm a burden, though.
[He'd rather be anything but dead weight, to be honest. If that meant getting more active and finding work to help out with expenses, or if that meant taking on chores or making tea in the morning, hell, he'd do it. If not for the sake of being considerate, than at least for the sake of not feeling utterly useless.]
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[She decides to take a chance and reaches out to give his hand a quick squeeze.]
The only way you can be a burden is if you give up on yourself. I can't help you that way. But I'm not worried about that, since you're so adamant to change.